Tag: joke

A man and his wife are at a restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin at a nearby table. His wife asks, “Do…

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice. First, she…

A guy walks into the human resources department of a large company and hands the executive his application. The executive begins to scan the sheet, and notices that the applicant…

A man calls home to his wife and says, “Honey, I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We’ll be…

Jacob age 85, and Rebecca age 79 are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way go…

A husband frantically calls hotel management from his hotel room. “Please come fast! I’m having an argument with my wife and she says she will jump out the window of…

In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.…

The female brain works on a different tangent than male. Last night I was sitting in the living room, talking to my wife about life. In-between, we talked about the…

Three house pets – a golden retriever, a parakeet, and a cat – all die and go to heaven. As with all the good animals, God decides to have a personal…

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were each given the same red rubber ball and told to find the volume. The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a…

A man came home from work early one day, and found his wife naked and panting on the bed. “Honey,” she said, thinking quickly, “I think I’m having a heart attack!”…

A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened…

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart…

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop.. Right away they go over to the bird section. Gerry says to Paddy, “That’s them”. The clerk comes over and asks if he…

An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed…

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th…

A rich millionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday. So during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in…

An Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals…

A butcher is in his shop busily serving customers when all of a sudden he notices a dog. He shoos him away, but later he notices the dog is back…

The little Johnny was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell…