Home From School
An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married and settled down in their old neighborhood. They were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and decided to walk down the street…
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Tag: joke
Last Request
Three prisoners are on death row and are about to be executed. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. One man asks for pepperoni pizza,…
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The Farmer & A Lawyer
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a…
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Tickle Me Elmo’s
There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The…
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Little Johnny
Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what’s worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it…
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You Are Drunk
Three guys were sitting in a biker bar. A man came in, already drunk, sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. The man looked around and saw the…
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Lincoln As Jokester
The most famous of all debates in American history are the seven between Abraham Lincoln and Stephen A. Douglas campaigning in Illinois in 1858 for a Senate seat. On one…
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I Fish On
After 35 years of marriage, a husband and wife came for counseling. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a tirade listing every problem they had ever…
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First Pitch
Bill and Hillary are at a Yankees home game, sitting in the first row, with the Secret Service people directly behind them. One of the Secret Service guys leans forward…
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The Curtain Rods
On the first day, he sadly packed his belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, he had the movers come and collect his things. On the third…
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Lil Susie
Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. “Tell…
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Can I Buy You A Drink?
I got chatting to a girl in a club. “Can I buy you a drink?” I asked. “Have you not got a girlfriend?” she replied, “Guys like you always have…
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Shoe Box
A man and woman had been married for more than 63 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except…
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Farmer & An Old Lady
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited, so he said he didn’t live far and would just…
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Who Are The Real Robbers?
During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: “Don’t move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you.” Everyone in…
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Lobsters And Whistle
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him…
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The Case of Non-Divorce
A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in…
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Blonde Lady
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde lady arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, ”…
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That Rubber Thingy
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and…
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Arthritis
A man who smelled like a distillery flopped on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a…
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