Tag: joke

A 90 year old man was attempting to shave his beard at his house with a razor. His hands weren’t quite as steady as they used to be and his…

An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. The man replies, “I am on my…

One night four college students were out partying late night and didn’t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning, they thought of a…

Hud was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, “Grandpa, what’s that called…

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband’s habit of farting loudly every morning when…

Dan married a woman with an identical twin. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. “Tell the court why you want a divorce,” said…

A wise man said to his son, “My boy! When you accumulate the understanding to know why a pizza is made round… …to be put in a square box… …and…

A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: “My son, there…

As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He…

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights will go quicker…

Two elderly grandparents from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and…

This is said to be a favorite story of Lyndon Johnson’s. A preacher was becoming terribly distracted by a man who came to church every Sunday and slept through the…

A big-city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men. He asks,  “How do you guys relieve your s*xual tension?” “Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we’ll…

A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely” to them. To make sure the students have a good understanding of…

A fellow is browsing in a pet store, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud. “Jeesh, I wonder…

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her,…